"Uncle: Like a Dad, only cooler."
~ Unknown
When I turned 30 in June 1984, I was single, unattached, and as content as one could possibly be with my life. I was certainly open to meeting someone with whom to share my life, but I was confident that I had not yet met her. In time, I did, and the rest is history. Yet in that summer of ’84, I had given some thought to the possibility of remaining single — and I was totally at peace with that possibility. I was preparing to begin a new career in August.
Now, in the summer of 2022, my son, Brendan, is 30. He is single, unattached, and seems to be quite content with his life. He’s open to the possibility meeting someone with whom to share his life, but he’s pretty sure that he has not yet met her. Whether he does or not remains to be seen, though I’m pretty sure there’s someone out there who will be his perfect soulmate. For now, Brendan seems content with his life. He has a good job with an outstanding organization which provides him with a decent wage, health benefits, and an excellent retirement program.
Brendan’s older brothers, Tom and Steve, are both married. Tom and his wife, Hillary, have two children, ages seven and five. Steve and his wife, Morgan, also have two children, ages two and seven months. All four of them are professional educators. The four grandkids, one boy and three girls, are beautiful — two are half-Filipino and two are half-Vietnamese. They love their parents, and, of course, their grandparents, too. But all four of the kids adore their “Uncle B.”
It was difficult for the little ones to say “Brendan” when they were younger, so the nickname “Uncle B” was used. It stuck. At first, it sounded more like “Unca B,” but as the kids developed their speech, the title was easier to pronounce.
Being an uncle is different from the role of parenting. While Brendan loves his nieces and nephew, and is concerned for their safety and well-being, he is not ultimately responsible for raising them. It’s a role similar to that of grandparent. We get to be the good guys, playing with the kids, providing treats, and loving them unconditionally, without the responsibility of being the primary disciplinarian. I would describe Brendan’s role as that of mentor — a wise and trusted counselor or teacher, a resource which will serve them well throughout their lifetime. While not having the primary responsibility for these kids, Brendan serves as an excellent role model for them. They seem to delight in the time they have with him when family gets together.
As a father and grandfather, there is no greater joy for me than to see my three sons happy to be together and raising a new generation of Carrolls with the support of extended family. Tom, Hillary, Steve, and Morgan are amazing parents, and Brendan is an awesome “Uncle B.”
